- THE ORIENTAL CURE
I was at a local festival and walking down the street
but my poor old bones were battling and the pain near had me
All the years of riding Rodeo and wrestling toey steers
were now coming back to haunt me and reducing me to tears.
Then my youngest lad he pointed to some oriental chaps
in a tent who did massaging that could help me out perhaps?
But the thought mate had me cringing and to me it seemed quite
that he somehow had forgotten what had happened late last year.
This old Chinese bloke called Wong Fu, who lived up my street
said he did that u beaut massage thing for little or no pay.
He suggested that within an hour he’d rid me of my pain
and I’d think that I was wrestling steers and feeling young
Well I thought I’d give the thing a shot, as I had nought to
when he threw me on a table and his hands flew into gear.
His old fingers they were digging to find muscle ‘neath the fat
and within the first ten minutes I was purring like a cat.
All the aches and pains subsided
and my head went kind of light
and I did feel like a young man and old Wong Fu had been right.
In my mind I’d dreamed I’d drifted back to days of long ago
and I had a headlock on a steer at some night Rodeo.
I could hear his raucous bellow as he struggled to get free
and he darned near tried most everything to rid himself of me.
But I sucked in one last breath of air and twisted his old neck
and he went down like a bag of spuds and hit the flaming deck.
I could hear the crowd all cheering and I cherished the esteem
til I felt a sudden surge of pain that woke me from my dream
On the ground and fairly winded was old Wong Fu near half dead
and the headlock I’d put on the bloke sure left his ears bright
Then with lightning speed he sure let fly with some beaut kung
that had landed right between my legs and man it did the trick.
He then rabbit chopped me with both hands and bellowed in
“You go loco bloss or someling!” and he dropped me to my knees.
Well I walked off worse than ever and was aching twice as bad
and I never have forgotten that darn massage that I had.
So forget those Oriental cures; they’re far to troublesome.
I’ll just numb me pain the Aussie way, with good old Bundy Rum.
© Bush Poet and Balladeer - Merv
- Picked up four out of the six nominations in the Lyrics Only of
the TSA National song writing awards Merv and Chris
- The 2005/2006 Poetry
Competition is a Draw!!!!!
Award Winning Poet Lenny Knight (Competition Judge) could
not decide between these two Poems.
Vivienne Ledlie - "MY BOOMERANG HOTEL" Poem 42
Merv Webster (The Goondiwindi Grey) "SOMETHING FOR OUR STEVIE "
Congratulations!! Vivienne and Merv
- Bush Balladeer Merv Webster Releases 7 Track
After taking out awards in his first four song writing
competitions in the lyrics only sections, Merv releases his award
winning songs on his own EP/CD.
After a rewarding career as a Bush Poet, Merv turned his hand to
writing Bush Ballads . In 2005, he entered the Katherine Country
Music Muster’s Northern Territory Country Music Song Writing
Competition and won the Lyrics Only Section with ‘Chasing
Buttons.’ At Tamworth in 2006, he scored three out of the five
nominations in the TSA National Song Writing Competition ‘s Lyrics
Only Section and won with ‘The Maintop Balladeer.’
Then again in 2006 he entered the Katherine Country Music
Muster’s, Northern Territory Country Music Song Writing
Competition and won the Lyrics Only Section with ‘Granddad’s
Crusty Damper.’ In May 2006 he was advised that he had three out
of the ten nominations in the Lyrics Only of the T.S.A’s
South-East Queensland Branch’s Song Writing Awards and picked up a
second place for “I Wish I Were a Crocodile” and third place for
‘Son Play Another Coster Song’.
These award winning songs have been included on a new 7 track
EP/CD called ‘From Bard to Balladeer.’ They include, ‘Granddad’s
Crusty Damper’, ‘The Bravest of the Brave’ [A tribute to young
Sophie Delezio] R.M. Williams – a Man Who Had Tried’, ‘Son Play
another Coster Song’, ‘I Never Cried For Elvis But I Shed A Tear
For Slim,’ ‘Chasing Buttons’ and ‘The Maintop Balladeer.’ [A
tribute to Wave Jackson]. Merv wishes to thank Buddy Thomson of
Outback Studios for engineering the album and playing rhythm
guitar. Lynne Bennett for backing vocals and bass guitar. Michael
Pincott, lead & rhtyhm guitar, also mandolin. John and Eleanor
Briskey of Sundown Music for their encouragement.
$17.00 includes P&H Contact Merv Webster P.O, Box 8211Bargara,
Qld, 4670 or phone 07 4159 1868
The TSA is an Australasia-wide association of Songwriters.
Its headquarters are in Tamworth, but it has branches wherever a
sufficient number of members have been able to get together and
its interests are truly nation-wide. Its orientation is towards
Country Music, but it embraces Australasian writers of all fields.
It's aim is to help members to find wider recognition and more
lucrative markets for their songs and to improve the quality of
their writing. It paves the way to the Country Music Week
Songwriters' Workshops in Tamworth every January, where
established writers have shared their knowledge with us, and where
you can meet and exchange songs with fellow writers of every
degree of development. The Workshops climax in the great TSA
Songwriters' Concert and Awards presentations, one of the prestige
highlights of the whole Tamworth Festival.
LYRICS ONLY SECTION FINALISTS
CHASING BUTTONS – MERV WEBSTER
FLOWERS ON A FRIDAY – MERV WEBSTER
THE MAINTOP BALLADEER – MERV WEBSTER
THE BALLAD OF THE TRAIN – DOUGLAS DORAHY
OLD CHARLIE – PHIL CHANDLER
My new book "Keeping the Cuture" also has been nominated as one of
the five finalists in The 2006 Golden Gumleaf Bush Laureate Awards
Original book of Bush Verse section and the winner will be
announced at the Awards evening on Tuesday the 24th January during
the Tamworth Country Music Festival.
Finalists have been announced for the 11th Australian Bush
Laureate Awards to be announced in Tamworth this January.
The Awards were launched in 1996 to encourage, promote and
recognise excellence in Australian Bush Poetry.
Each January during the Tamworth Country Music Festival, a major
presentation concert is staged where the highly sought-after
Golden Gumleaf trophies are presented to Australia’s finest bush
There are five finalists in each category. All nominations must be
commercially released and are judged on such criteria as quality
of verse, presentation and production, entertainment value and
Australian character of the verse.
Finalists for 2006 are...
For Original Verse Book of the Year – Aussie Country Comedy by
Neil Hulm (self published); The Aussie Inside by V C Dale (self
published); Australian Poems That Would Captivate A Koala by
Phillip Rush (self published); Eighty! by Len Green (self
published); and Keeping the Culture by Merv Webster (self
After the success of my last book, A
Muster of Australiana, I have now released a 100 page book of
verse and yarns called Keeping the Culture. It is a good
cross section of humour, pathos and ballads including the
words to, I Never Cried For Elvis But I Shed A Tear For Slim
and R. M. Williams - A Man Who Had Tried.
THE NELLIES - WHAT DO I TELL MY CHILDREN? - THE
STAND AT STINKYBARK CK - THE RELUCTANT BOOTSCOOTER - THE
COOEE-BOOROO FROM IRELAND AND THE BOOTAMURRA MAN - NEDS
ENCOUNTER WITH SNAGS - DEAR OH DEER! - LEICHHARDT'S IN THE
BUSH - WHO WILL SING THEIR PRAISES? - RBT BLUES - THE BANCROFT
REUNION - THE MOTHER-IN-LAW CRISIS - A SIMPLE WORD OF THANKS -
GERTY GRIBBLE'S DILEMMA - PARADISE WHERE? - HARD HAT HEROES -
THE BLUE LIGHT ENCOUNTER - AN OLD MAN’S VOWES - WHEN THE
EVIDENCE WENT MISSING - THE YOWAH ADDICTION - CARAVANNING
MAYHEM - I NEVER CRIED FOR ELVIS BUT I SHED A TEAR FOR SLIM -
WHAT FISH? - OLD JACKO IN THE CITY - R.M. WILLIAMS - A MAN WHO
HAD TRIED - IT’S NO EXCUSE I FEAR - I WISH I WAS A CROCODILE -
ROBBY - GRAN’S LAST WISH - CHASING BUTTONS - WHEN 7 RANG THE
GREY - WHEN TIMES GET TOUGH - SOMETHING FOR STEVIE - BLUEY’S
REFLECTIONS - A LIFELINE IN THE BUSH - SEARCHING FOR BILLY -
THE VIGILANTE GRANNY - WHAT’S WRONG WITH RYME AND METER MATE?
- THE POETS AND THE LADY - A JOYOUS CELEBRATION - SAM’S
It is available for $17.00 which includes postage from
P.O. Box 8211
Bargara Qld 4670
Cheers Merv Webster
The Tamworth Ragepage 2005/2006 Poetry Competition
was a Draw!!!!!
Award Winning Poet Lenny Knight (Competition
Judge) could not decide between these two Poems.
Vivienne Ledlie -
"MY BOOMERANG HOTEL" Poem 42
Merv Webster (The
Goondiwindi Grey) "SOMETHING FOR OUR STEVIE "
enne and Merv
Print out and have